


Meet The Parents

by SilveryxDark



Series: I'LL the Toraga Lovechild 'verse [3]
Category: Alice Nine, Fest Vainqueur, Jrock
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - High School, Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gay Parents, Inappropriate Humor, M/M, Meeting the Parents, Poor Airu, Some underage drinking, Weirdest but cutest family ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-07
Updated: 2014-10-07
Packaged: 2018-02-20 07:19:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2419949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilveryxDark/pseuds/SilveryxDark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Today is the worst day of Airu's life.</p>
<p>He's going to bring his boyfriend home to meet his parents.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meet The Parents

**Author's Note:**

> I dedicate this fic to Yumi, who once again has cameos in here. I don't even know how we come up with half the weird stuff we talk about tbh. I hope everyone likes it o/ And there will be more fics in this verse. 8)

It was a lovely, sunny day where the sky was blue and the birds were singing… no, actually, that was bullshit. Well, okay, it was a bright sunny day and all, but the birds were mostly pigeons pooping on passers-by, it was deathly warm, _and_ it was by no means a _lovely_ day. Airu hated today, muttering curses under his breath as he headed to school.

Today was the day when he’d be bringing his boyfriend home to meet his family, and he was so not looking forward to that.

The problem did not lie with Hiro, obviously - Hiro was quite possibly the cutest, sweetest, and kindest person that Airu had ever met. He was popular with everyone, and Airu was sometimes jealous of him being really friendly with some of their classmates. But that was simply how Hiro was, and Airu had adored him for _ever_. They even shared the same birthday! Airu was certain that his family members would like him.

No, what Airu was worried about was the fact that he had weird, embarrassing family members who would promptly scare away Hiro once they met, thereby causing Hiro to break up with him and sending him into a spiral of misery and despair. Airu hardly relished the idea of _that_.

And yet, as Airu neared the school gates and met with Hiro, he couldn’t help but smile at his boyfriend’s enthusiasm. Hiro was so cute.

“Good morning Airu!” Hiro beamed, lightly kissing Airu’s cheek. “I’m so excited!”

“Morning. You… you are?” Airu said nervously.

Hiro seemed to take no notice of his discomfort and replied brightly, “Of course! I’m finally meeting your parents! Tora-san and Saga-san! Oh my god, they’re so cool! I actually have posters of Alice Nine in my room, you know!”

“Oh my god,” Airu muttered. “Will you ever take them down?”

Hiro blinked slowly. “Why should I?”

Airu flushed red as he muttered, “You - you invited me over next weekend for a sleepover. I… I really don’t want to do anything with posters of my own parents watching, you know what I mean?”

Hiro grinned at him. “Ah, I understand! But still, your fathers seem so cool!”

Airu sighed deeply, and looked around them before hurrying into the classroom. He was thankful that they tended to be the earliest students. “Okay, uh, I should probably tell you some things about my family so you don’t freak out when you meet them.”

“They’re not secretly serial killers, are they?” Hiro asked mildly.

“What? No, no, they’re not!” Airu replied, shaking his head. “No, look… Okay, my Dad… Tora. I think you could say he’s the sanest guy in the family next to me. But he’s got really bad fashion sense outside of work, and he makes really bad, awkward jokes. My siblings… well, you’ve seen their pranks on me, haven’t you? Along with everyone else? Multiply that by about ten when I was growing up.”

Hiro started giggling, and Airu threw up his hands in frustration. Those were some of the most embarrassing days of his whole life. His older twin siblings were considered cool and popular, with a penchant for pranking their kid brother. By association, Airu supposed, he was also considered cool, but it was so _embarrassing_.

Exhibit A - on the first day of school, his older brother Miyu had told everyone that Airu was, to put it politely, well-endowed, thanks to some old joke their fathers shared. That in itself was already disturbing to Airu, and then there was everyone smirking at him already and asking if it was true he had a “big Magnum”.

Exhibit B - After a few months of enrolment, Airu had made the mistake of admitting to his sister Yumi that he had a crush on Hiro, who was his classmate and also his fellow light music club member. She had proceeded to “accidentally” push Airu while he was talking to Hiro, causing him to promptly fall onto Hiro and end up in a tangle of limbs. In front of the whole damn year.

Okay, maybe that wasn’t quite so bad because at least he did end up with Hiro afterwards. But still! He’d tried so hard to cultivate a cool, charming image and of course his siblings were the ones to ruin it all. Kind of. People had cheered when he accidentally kissed Hiro. Not that he was going to thank Yumi or anything.

“Your sister did bring us together,” Hiro pointed out cheerfully.

Exactly. “But what if you hadn’t liked me in the first place?” Airu whined instead.

Hiro shrugged. “I wouldn’t know about that! Because I do like you!” He then leaned over and kissed Airu’s cheek lightly, before he continued, “But what about Saga-san?”

Airu paused. He steepled his fingers, bringing them to his lips. Out of his entire family, the man he called Papa was quite possibly stranger than _everyone_ put together. And that was a whole lot of strangeness already.

“I love Papa, okay,” he began slowly. “He's great - very kind and caring. But he’s weird. My God, is he weird.”

Airu felt like if he didn't preface his description of his Papa with that, Hiro would actually be scared even before meeting his family tonight. He continued, “Look, he basically has no filter with the things he says, and makes a _ton_ of weird, incomprehensible and inappropriate jokes. He has weird obsessions and there was a time, according to Dad, when he broke the television screen in the hotel room just because he was pissed that his favourite team lost. And I swear that he and Dad scarred me for life. They were… they were, uh, loudly affectionate, to put it lightly!”

Hiro said nothing for a long moment, in which Airu was suddenly convinced that Hiro was going to announce that his father was way too weird to meet and he was going to break up with him right now. Then Hiro said with a smile, “Saga-san sounds interesting.”

Huh.

Well.

That was… unexpected. Airu wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. At least, his boyfriend wasn’t running off.

“So uh. Still good with coming over to meet my family?” Airu asked.

“Of course I am! I mean, everyone thinks their parents are embarrassing. I’m sure you’re just exaggerating. Or maybe not, I’ve seen the old videos! Alice Nine Channel, right? But don’t worry, Airu!” Hiro beamed.

Well, if Airu had to name one thing about Hiro that he loved, he might just answer with Hiro’s boundless enthusiasm.

\---

Airu wasn’t sure how he was going to survive this. He really wasn’t. He wished that Miyu hadn’t let slip at dinner that Airu was dating Hiro, thereby leading to an interrogation from his parents.

“It wasn’t like I didn’t want to tell you guys or anything!” Airu had protested quickly. “I was just, uh, waiting for a good time, especially since you guys aren’t home that often! Then I forgot because I’ve been together with Hiro for a while, so...”

His fathers had looked slightly guilty at that, and Airu had felt guilty in turn. He’d hoped he hadn’t made them upset over their schedules - they were musicians with busy lives, and they tried so hard to be good parents.

Finally, Tora had said after a moment, “It’s okay! We understand, Airu.”

Then Saga had said, “Hey, why don’t you bring him home? I want to meet your Hiro-kun! Aw, he sounds so cute from what you said! And he’s a bassist too? That’s so cute! You really take after your Dad, don’t you?”

Airu had flushed and sputtered something incoherent, before clearing his throat and replying slowly, “Um. Yes, Hiro plays the bass, too. He… he said he admires you, actually.”

“That’s so cute! A fan’s dating my son!” Saga had grinned, and Airu had sworn he was mildly teary eyed. “Wait, wait, he’s not like, using you or anything, is he? If he is, I swear I’m going to -”

“Stop jumping to conclusions, Papa,” Miyu had sighed. “Hiro’s a good kid, we can vouch for him.”

Then Yumi had added, “Though, I’m not sure he was totally clued in on the fact that Airu was _your_ son, he seems a little slow...”

“Don’t talk like that about my boyfriend!” Airu had hissed, and then had added defensively, “I mean, yeah, he didn’t realise it, but… um, he’s the best boyfriend ever!”

“Aw, young love!” Saga had said, mock-wiping a tear from his eye (or maybe not). “Remember how we were, Torashii?”

“Stop teasing him, Saga,” Tora had responded, though he was smiling sappily at Saga, before coughing and turning back to Airu. “So, anyway, we’ll be home the whole of next… Wednesday. Why don’t you bring Hiro home?”

“So long as you guys promise not to scare him away,” Airu had sighed.

At that, Saga had looked utterly dumbfounded. “Why would we do that?”

Airu had groaned, Tora had looked vaguely embarrassed but promised anyway, and finally, Airu had resigned himself to the fact that his very normal boyfriend (well, okay, he was special and extraordinary and wonderful, but he certainly wasn’t anything like his family members) was about to meet his family. Especially his parents.

In the present time, they were travelling to Airu’s home. Airu was keeping up a stream of instructions for Hiro, to best avoid any chance of misunderstandings or whatever. “If he asks you about your favourite football team, do not answer. Like, do not answer that at all or he’s gonna give you hell. And don’t get him started on that damn shrine in the living room, okay?”

Hiro shrugged and nodded, sipping on his drink. Airu worried about whether he’d heard anything. Soon, the travel pod stopped in front of the house, and Airu was so nervous he nearly tripped getting out. His nerves only worsened as he stepped up to the door, and he had to key in the passcode at least three times.

“Airu, calm down. _I’m_ the one meeting your parents for the first time, not the other way around! Though my parents are generally average people, not celebrities like yours...” Hiro mused, squeezing Airu’s hand.

“Thanks,” Airu sighed, and leaned in as Hiro pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I guess… we can’t postpone this any longer. Let’s go, Hiro.”

Holding onto Hiro’s hand, Airu walked into the house. Almost immediately, he saw his fathers, who were excitedly waving from the living room. Hiro all but skipped faster towards them, tugging on Airu’s hand, quite clearly starstruck.

“Hello Tora-san, Saga-san! I’m Hiro, it’s so nice to meet you!” Hiro beamed.

“Oh my God, aren’t you adorable!” Papa practically squealed. “It’s nice to meet you too, Hiro-kun! Our Airu’s a good boy, isn’t he?”

“Mm, very!” Hiro said, and Airu fought the warmth rising from his neck and up to his cheeks. “Airu’s wonderful!”

“They’re so cute,” Papa stage-whispered, as Dad grinned and said, “It’s very nice to meet you, too, Hiro-kun! Please, take a seat, and make yourself feel at home!”

Well, that wasn’t so bad. Airu and Hiro sat on the couch as Airu’s parents went to get drinks for them. Hiro was smiling widely, looking at everything in the house, and cooing over the photoframes on the desk.

“Oh my god, you were such a cute baby! And your siblings, too!” Hiro giggled, looking at the photos.

“All right, here you go,” Papa’s voice said from behind, setting down two cups of soda, before sitting opposite them. “Okay, Hiro-kun, I have one very, very important question to ask you.”

Shit. “Papa!”

“Saga!” Dad said at the same time.

“Hiro-kun,” Papa began calmly, “do you like Arsenal?”

Tora and Airu both groaned audibly. And then, from Hiro, “Arsenal? The football team? Oh, yes! I love them!”

What.

Papa’s eyes lit up, and he grabbed Hiro’s hands in his own. “You like Arsenal, too? Hiro-kun! You’re the chosen one!”

“ _Papa_ ,” Airu whimpered.

“Oh, Arsenal’s so cool,” Hiro said brightly. “I love watching them! I’m so happy that they’ve had a winning streak recently!”

“Yes! And ugh, did you know that none of my kids like Arsenal? Yumi and Miyu like Manchester United, and Airu - _Airu, you disappointment_ \- he likes Chelsea!“ Papa whined dramatically.

Airu exchanged looks with Dad, and then he said, “Dad? I think - I think I need a cold one.”

“You’re sixteen,” Dad said weakly, staring at his husband and his son’s boyfriend with an expression of fascinated horror.

“And you started drinking _when_? I think this is an occasion for drinking,” Airu retorted, fixing his father with the glare that he’d inherited from him.

“You have a point,” Dad agreed, and Airu followed him into the kitchen, grabbing a can.

He didn’t drink much at all, usually in small amounts as monitored by his parents. Airu stared at his boyfriend and his other father, not quite believing his eyes as he drank some of the beer.

“At least Hiro isn’t scared off,” Airu muttered.

“Well… I guess you really take after me, don’t you?” Dad said, grinning. “Falling in love with a cute, airheaded bassist with a love for Arsenal...”

“Hiro’s not half as weird as Papa is!” Airu protested, though he had to concede the point, mostly.

Dad shrugged. “Well… no one is, I think. You’d have a huge problem on your hands if Hiro-kun was that much like Saga.”

Airu sighed. “I know, Dad. I know. Cheers to that.”

They knocked their cans together, sipping slowly. Airu found himself smiling anyway - wasn’t this what he wanted, after all? For his boyfriend to get along well with his parents, instead of being scared away? And Hiro was so cute and enthusiastic, charming his parents’ socks off with his gorgeous smile. Airu suddenly felt like he was ready for anything.

He started making his way back to the living room, just in time to hear his Papa ask. “Hey, so, have you two had sex yet?”


End file.
